Special needs parenting is lonely. Even when you're surrounded by people, it's as though you're all on your own if those people don't understand what you go through. Even throughout the good times, it's hard to get another parent as excited as you are over what might seem like a silly accomplishment to them but was the result of a lot of hard work for you. Your reality is different from the world that everyone else seems to live in and it feels as though you either live two lives - keeping up with the rest of the world whilst maintaining the one you really reside in, or you isolate yourself and only entertain anything that is relevant to you and your child. Both are exhausting. Both are lonely. 

If you're the parent of a child with special needs, create a support network for yourself. There are millions of forums, groups and blogs online where you can converse with other parents in the same situation as you - even better, try and meet with a support group in your local area. 

If you have a friend or family member with a child with special needs, ask questions. Do some research. Let them talk about their child, their life and their reality - not with your judgment or opinions, but with a genuine interest in what they have to say. Allow them to celebrate their child. We all want to share a part of ourselves and our world with the people around us, but we want the people around us to be interested and to care. 

There are seven billion people in the world. Why should any of us ever feel lonely?

In Costa, the barista asks me if I want my americano black or white. I hesitate - "black please". Zidane asks why I didn't say "white". I explain white means milk, and I don't feel like milk today. Zidane replies "So you want black? Like you? Look, I'm not involved in this racism business" 

Attached is a picture of my racially charged americano.

Zidane and my OH (other half) had the following hilarious conversation earlier

OH: Zidane come and help me put away these plates…
Zidane: I can't I have autism.
OH: Ok. You still need to put the plates away…
Zidane: I can't I've got ADHD too…
OH: It doesn't matter or stop you from putting plates away
Zidane: It does! Ask my Mum what else I've got…
OH: I know what you have…
Zidane: What?
OH: You have these plates to put away…
Zidane: Awww man!!! *starts putting away the plates*

How do you know when a child has an unseen special need? What are the warning signs? How do you tell if the screaming child on the supermarket floor is having a meltdown or is throwing a tantrum because they were denied a chocolate bar? How do you know if the child that swore beside you on the bus has Tourette's or has been raised badly? How do you know if the child in front of you can't keep still because of ADHD or if his parents never taught him how to behave in public?? 

You don't. 

You mind your business. You keep your mouth closed and you understand that whether the parent is caring for a child with special needs or one that is just plain acting up, they probably don't need your smart assed comment about what you would do if it were your child. If you feel the need to open you mouth in public and negatively comment within earshot of the parent on the behaviour of a child that isn't in your care, you show no more restraint than the child...who might have a special need.