Right now, you're probably preparing for your first day of the new term, excitedly anticipating the kind of year you plan to have. 

You've probably finished your scheme of work, and drafted your lesson plans and can't wait to impart knowledge on the young minds that will start your class today.

 I hope more than anything though, you're well rested. 

Here's a little secret: At nine o'clock this morning, I will bring my son into your class, and everything you thought you had carefully planned will more than likely be turned on its head. Here's another secret: By the end of the year, it will all have been totally worth it. 

My son, in spite of and because of all of his difficulties, struggles to understand the simplest of things , yet wants to understand EVERYTHING. He will look to you for knowledge. Sometimes you will have the answers - sometimes you won't. There will be tears and tantrums. There will be meltdowns and madness. There will be times you think that it is all too much. 

My son doesn't always appear to want to learn. With his limited ability to express emotion, fear, confusion, disappointment and self doubt are all often expressed as anger. His eagerness becomes interruptions, his curiosity manifests itself as naughtiness. Please don't give up on him. Please try to understand him and harness his thirst for knowledge and help me to unleash his full potential. 

You'll have to modify your lessons plans and change the classroom around. If you think you already have too much paperwork, then I estimate that its about to be doubled. And you know how teachers always complain about the extra-long working hours? They're about to get longer….


Oh yes, and then there will be me. I will be there, asking for quick chats at the end of the day, handing you fistfuls of printouts on my sons conditions, and suggesting books you can read to help you modify your curriculum for my child (as if your workload wont be heavy enough). I'll be requesting your attendance at meetings and holding impromptu mini parents evenings throughout the year. It won't help you at all that I am a teacher too. But trust me, by the end of the year, it will all have been worth it. I promise you. 

In between the impulsivity, anger, tantrums and meltdowns, there will be the moments when after trying to teach him something for weeks, he does it on his own. There will be the times when he gets something right and beams with pride in his own little way. There will be the moments when after struggling for your attention and approval you give him the tiniest pit of praise and you can see how proud he is of himself that the entire reason you became a teacher will be momentarily personified in him. 

So thank you in advance. Thank you for all the extra work, time and effort that you will have to put in. I know it won't be easy but I know it will be worth it. 

Happy Mother's Day to the Mother who may never have heard her child say "I love you". Happy Mother's Day for the mother who's child is physically incapable of buying a card, or who doesn't have the mental capacity to understand what today is about. Happy Mother's Day to the Mothers who won't get to relax and rest today, because they don't get to relax and rest ever. 

One of the hardest thing about raising a child with special needs is the isolation it causes even when I am in the midst of friends of family. You see, nobody around me understands what being a Mother is like FOR ME. I hear you complain about the amount of birthday parties you have to bring your child to this weekend, and I hear you boast about how well your child is doing at school, and I am happy for you, I really am. But can you share my frustration when I have had to bring my child to what feels like a million therapy appointments for the week? Can you be happy with me when I am happy that my seven year old didn't eat his clothes today? Or that he go into a full blown meltdown when he heard an ambulance siren, or that he ate food that wasn't brown?

Its obvious that being the Mother of a child with Special Needs is a totally different journey, and for that reason, today is a completely different celebration for us too. Today, you might not get any respite from your role, and so its important that you take a moment to reflect on the amazing job that you do. I see you. I see you and I celebrate you. I admire your hard work, your selflessness and your tenacity. 

To the Mother's of children with Special Needs, I wish you a very happy Mothers Day. 

I am a special needs mother. My child has disabilities that can't be seen. In an ideal world my child would have no more difficulties than a 'normal' child, but there are times that I wish that Zidanes difficulties were clear for everyone to see. You see, if you don't know me, you may see a terrible mother with a child she often can't manage. You nudge your friend in the supermarket and wonder why she wont take her screaming child off the floor, you roll your eyes when you hear his non-stop babble on public transport and ask why I don't shut him up. You don't understand that touching Zidane during a meltdown (caused by over stimulation) only makes him worse, and you don't see when Zidane hits himself saying "Im stupid - why cant I just shut up?". Even as you might chuckle as you read my update of what Zidane said on any given day, you don't see the little boy that has never been invited to a birthday party, that struggles to understand what his peers comprehend with ease or that is so confused by the world around him that he flits from uncontrollable anger to crying himself to sleep. Even trained professionals don't see the immense burden that we as a family go through living with a child with the difficulties Zidane faces. You didn't see the fight we had to go through to be acknowledged, you don't see the fight we continue to get help from medical professionals and the education system. You insist that my child needs a slap and that it is ME that is the problem. I don't want your sympathy, this is our journey, and in raising my ever so special boy my other children and I have learnt so much about ourselves and the world around us - we are different people - a better family, and at any rate I can give as good as I get, I pity the fool that rolls their eyes during one of Zidanes meltdowns, lol. Now, there ARE children that are spoilt and naughty, and that might have thrown themselves onto the floor in the supermarket because they weren't allowed to have a chocolate bar, im not asking you to become an expert in ADHD, ASD, ODD, GDD or anything else Zidane has to be able to diagnose and differentiate between them, I'm asking for a little tolerance - maybe you can not roll your eyes, or talk loudly about what you would do if it was your child, you only have to endure it for a really short amount of time - spare a thought for the mother and family for whom that is life.